Yin and Yang

The yin and the yang

Today is Saturday and I am off work....Came ---- that close to having a date tonight off one of my dating sites. Man she was hot too, forty five, (robbin the craddle for me) petite, her profile pic she's layin on a bed with some kind of shimpy night gown showing most of her pear shaped mouth fulls, and the night gown ridin up exposing the most beautiful sculptured shanks goin.
Life would be so much easier if I'd learn to masturbate....I used to know how...When I was eight I fell in love for the first time and after several years of.....amazingly similar emotions that I feel today, at age eleven I discovered masturbation....It's fine, I mean until you've had the "real deal". After that.... it's not fine...It's a house of cards, a cheat, a let down... What can I say, now days when I get horny I want to fuck.....It's part of my "all or nothing" self centered core...So if anybody wants to know what it's like to be horny all the time just ask....I mean, like if some medical research outfit is looking for "horny all the time" subjects to do clinical studies on.... (free drugs included)....I am your huckleberry.
Honestly I don't mind it....At my age bein horny all the time keeps a man alive.....All that testosterone building up down there must at some point like leak into the blood cells and start to affect ones entire body and state of mind...I think it's some kind of natural fountain of youth deal...
I used to have "wet dreams" which are another form of cheat, but one where you can honestly say, ...."It wasn't me".... when you wake up...Those days are gone too...I don't dream at all anymore cuz by the time I go to sleep I'm too fucking exhausted to dream....Being horny all the time really takes it out of ya.....
Anyway, being a relatively reflexive personality, I try to use my condition as a positive vehicle in my every day life.....No I don't mean I fuck garbage cans,.....Jesus,....what kind of a guy do you take me for?.....What I mean is I've tried to take it to another level. Like how I address the general public when at work...It's a kind of spiritual explosion for me...It's like living in the moment and trying to make a point to "love" in that moment weather it's communicating with another person, or doing a routine job function...It's taking extra time to lovingly clean a saw blade instead of just getting it done because I have to...Or catching myself being...you know, if you've read my stuff,....myself...and adjusting my attitude to a more diversive acceptance of others...
The more I practice this sort of "Zen" approach to daily living the more I realize a definite division in my natural makeup as a person....I am a Doctor Jeckel, Mr. Hide....A candidate for saint hood, and the devils advocate all rolled up, put through a blender and spit out the ass end, landing on the kitchen floor cuz some fuck forgot to put a decent rubber washer on the business end of the contraption...
Why am I tellin you this?.....What the fuck do you care?....Why would you want to read this boring shit about me ranting on and on about ME?....What kind of purely self centered, self promoting, fuck, has the nerve to write this shit and post it for the world to see? And why are you still reading?......Don't you have a motorcycle to go ride or something?
....That right there.......That's the "dark side" of LooseCanon....
I wanted to post this in hopes others that read it would maybe take time to give pause,..just for a moment,..contemplate,... the "yin, yang", "positive, negative" mixing of energies that energizes every aspect of the universe and plays such a vital part of our lives....I for one have found it to be a tool, a reminder, that every waking moment of our lives we have a choice...