Ramona

After reading some of my blogs she asked me to do this..And so, by her request, and as it is my honor to do so...
She was sixteen, I was nineteen working on a Honda cb350 when she walked into my life...A neighborhood girl, right for my size, healthy, with all the right curves and still somewhat "Tomboyish". She was itchin for it, and if I wasn't so innocent back then I would have recognized that and maybe been her first....Anyway at the time I was in love with another girl from the neighborhood...That was probably a defining moment in my life, a moment when a soul elects a course of action that continues for a lifetime. My soul elected to be a "one woman" man...I've never played the field because there's always been someone I felt I would be cheating on...
...Mona and I remained "friends"...She always felt comfortable giving me details of her sex life,...which honestly made me uncomfortable.....She told me how she lost her virginity one fine day to her boyfriend Barney....They fell asleep on her bed and when she woke up he was fondling her breast...She said it like,....because he was feelin her up she had no choice in the matter. It was obvious to me, she had a choice in the matter..Couple of years later she is Mrs. Barney with two kids. I guess it was a couple of years after that she divorced Barney and moved back to Diego, and we started hanging out together.
Mona said one of the nicest things to me any woman ever has..."It's too bad we didn't have children together, because our bodies "fit" together so well...
We moved into a couple of places together and I became and instant "daddy". Other than the obvious sexual attraction we had for each other....(The woman wore me out every night)...We had and continue to have a special kind of friendship..A constant sort of easy laughter and lightness surrounds me when I am with her...I have always been able to just be "me" never having to "try" to impress or worry that what I said or do at any givin time would cause a rift or lessening of her love for me...That folks is a blessing...Thank you Mona.
Today we are friends...I test her though...I try to fuck her, she know's I am going to try to fuck her, and she's patient with me about it....I on one hand hope my flirting with her allows her to take some ego boost for herself, on the other, I may owe her an apology for treating her like a "sex object".......She's not going to get it.
The same reason Mona and I didn't stay together back then, are just as relevant today....Mona wants me to "give"...
I've thought about love a lot over the last year...I have come to a kind of formula about the different kinds of love we humans experience.
1. Friendship
2. Unconditional
3. Romantic
Friendship and Unconditional love are about "giving". Friends give friends a part of themselves. It's a give and take relationship.
Unconditional love is "giving" without the expectation of "taking". The most common example of unconditional love would be the love of a Mother for her child.
Romantic love however is not about "giving". Romantic love is all about "taking". It's a self centered love. It's about being hungry for someone, and them hungry for you. One doesn't "give" them self to their partner, one feeds them self on the partner. It's why romantic love is lusty, and the love making is "hot".
Romantic love is the kind of love I seek this time in my life....Friendship and the "giving" form of love is what Mona seeks ......I know what she will say when she reads this..."How wonderful of you to be so pretentious as to believe you know what I want.".....You see why I love her...
In fact after she reads this and she responds, I might do a "part two" just to give ya a detailed description.....of her feedback.......Remember Baby, you asked me to do this...Hee, hee....That'll teach ya to be careful what ya ask for....

For me to engage in romantic love with a woman who is seeking security, friendship, conditions, commitments, that all are part of friendship, would be disrespectful, and deceitful. Ramona is a fine woman, she deserves the "kind" of love from a partner she seeks......And I,...... deserve the same.
Anyway, for all you friendship "giving" kind of guys (no freaks please) out there that are looking for "the one" beautiful, sexy, funny, smart, make your pee pee fat, kind of chick, with lush auburn hair.....maybe I could set you two up.......We can discuss my "finders" fee at a later time, as the important thing is to get you two love birds together!!!
Sincerely,
Cupid's little buddy