SALVATION chapter 1

Salvation
Chapter 1

San Diego, California

The revolver was a mock. A stage prop Nick had used from time to time as the occasion called..
A souvenir from his community theater acting days..
Times long passed, and what often seemed like another lifetime.
"I wish I had a girl " he thought slipping a single .44 MAG shell into the empty Smith & Wesson.
The idea was in reality a no win situation, and dismissed simultaneously as it rose in his mind...
The way things had gone over the last year, there was no point making another human being his clone of misery.
It just wouldn't be fair..
Nicolaus Flannery was no saint, but he did try to play fair.
Like liquid motion he spun the revolver chamber, slammed it shut, stuck the barrel in his right ear, and pulled the trigger.
Click...
"Fuck!"...He dropped the Smith & Wesson to the lumpy mattress..It bounced hard and thumped..The barrel lay goggled facing him,.. accusing. "Your still here asshole".
His eyes stung from stale cigarette smoke and lack of sleep..
He covered them with his palms like lids over boiling pots of water..
"Fuck, fuck, fuck"..
Pulling his hands away he swiped the wet on yesterdays jeans.
The place was small, cluttered, the way one bedrooms can get in a hurry.
Badly in need of paint. Once off white walls now streaked yellow with dirt and nicotine stain.
"A man needs a maid"..The old Neil Young song popped in his mind.
He'd been here all most two years when the realization hit him... There was not a single picture hanging in the place.
In a fit of inspiration he'd dug out some old lp's and tacked the jackets up on the walls..
Beatles 'Magical Mystery Tour', Led Zepplin's first, David Bowe, Jimi Hendricks, The Pretenders, Jethro Tull, to name a few..Innovators, inspiration generators..
Dragging to the bathroom he braved a look in the smudged medicine cabinet mirror.
Deep blue eyes stared back..A yellow mop of styled long hair and three days of stubble.
He twisted the 'hot' and waited until it smoked, splashing the near scalding stuff through his hair and face.
Better.
"Coffee..Need coffee"..He stuck out his tongue..White..."Fuck it"...He brushed his teeth.
The day matched his mood..Cold, windy, with a low smothering sky..
Cinching up the neck protector on the worn black leather jacket he viewed the waiting Harley and saw himself..
He turned away from a stirring memory..Those good days when he and the bike were first together..
Ashlee, Nick and the Harley..
Road trips to nowhere in particular..She clung to him and he to the bike..
"Bull shit"..
He pushed back hard and the memory disappeared. Like driving an easy eight ball through the center of a corner pocket.
The Harley sprung to life. Cold seat, tired motor, once bright chrome now dirty, dingy...
Thinking about it made him tired, allowing the relentless memory to seep again.
The local 7 Eleven was quiet enough at 7am..
Nick pulled in,shut off the bike, pushing pass the resident
homeless begging spare change..
The warm interior of the store was a comfort, but the loud persistent tone that signals entry echoed in his head like a crashing surf. He grabbed the big 24oz. size and forgot the stupid heat shield sleeve like always.
The bright red vests of the employees always hurt his eyes..Like safety gear..They must all ride bicycles to work..
He stood in line and got cut twice by self immersed customers beating the clock to their daily desk jobs.
In a way it didn't bother him..Yeah Nick Flannery had regrets..Yeah Nick Flannery had debts..Yeah, lately every day seemed like a life lead through the dark cave of an unhappy mind..
He managed a sip of the java. It's warmth and flavor overwhelmed him..
This stuff right here," he took another sip. "This stuff is worth getting up for."..
He paid the cashier in quarters..It's all he had..
Times were lean and the gig his band was currently doing didn't pay out till the end of the weekend..
He nodded to the standard "have a nice day" drone and turned toward the exit stopping dead in his track..
A tall slick suit was pulling the door open for his companion..He was way too happy for this time of day, and she was all smiles..All smiles and all Ashlee.
The couple didn't notice Nick. They didn't notice anyone..They were,...involved.
After a moment Nick felt himself breath in and breath out..
She could have been Ashlee...She should have been Ashlee..But Ashlee was dead..
He pushed through the exit door barely aware the imprint of redness the hot coffee cup was leaving on his palms.
Almost made it back to the Harley before his brain caught up and registered 'hot'..
His hands reacted though, dropping the steaming liquid right in the center of the parking lot..
A miniature mushroom cloud bellowed up in the cold air..like a smoke signal.."Here I am..Get your fucking video..Dumb shit of the day."

Los Angeles, California

Herman Gilespie barely remembered last night or the 'bitch' who still lay face down spread eagle over his king water bed..
It was some good coke though, and the sing song thread of her moaning "fuck it baby, fuck it" over and over like a broken record brought a sardonic smile to his stringy lips..
"Surreal" he muttered then gagged on the too familiar hot collusion of dried blood caked against the back of his throat..
He high tailed for the toilet tripping his way over empty beer cans and mostly empty bottles of cheap wine littering the floor.
Spitting out chunks of black that eventually turned to liquid runny red mucus and blood.
He couldn't help being distracted by a discarded cigarette butt comically wedged between his toes.
"Surreal" he grinned, and vomited again.
"Hey?"...Herman's serenade woke the girl up.."Hey?".."You alright in there buddy?"..She sat up, lit a smoke..
"Dizzy", Herman choked out..The woman rolled her eyes and flipped on the tube. "I got to split man"..
Even with his head three quarters in the toilet bowl he could hear her pulling on clothes and something else..
Rummaging..
"Stay out of my wallet, bitch!"..
"What the fuck?..I am getting my own shit, ok?"
"Stay the fuck away from my wallet!" His head pounded, swooned, and the white porcelain faded to gray.
"Fuck you asshole!"
Herman rolled off the toilet and lay face up on the bathroom floor..The cool tile saturated and numbed him..
She appeared. Hovering...Shimmering in his perception.."Your in a mood" she said paying as much attention to her reflection in the mirror as to him. "That's the thing about guys, in bands."
He stared at her..She'd been here before..He just couldn't remember her name.."Enlighten me."
She pulled long blond hair back and slipped it into a pony tail.. "You guys"...She turned on the facet and scrubbed her teeth with an index finger.."Your always so much more attractive, up there."
She wiggled washing her teeth and Herman realized he was getting horny..He reached and stroked her ankle..
"Up there?"
Her sharp features turned ugly and she pulled away.."Yeah, up there..On stage."
Herman grinned..The bitch had a point..We were all better 'up there'. Everything else was just about waiting to get back 'up there'...
"I am out of here" she snapped.
He got to his feet and staggered to the bathroom doorway watching her go.."You'll be back"..
She hung on the front door nob.."Oh yeah?..Why is that?"
Herman's face narrowed and his eyes blazed an insiders wisdom.."You heard of Daniel Webster and the devil?"
Her golden mane shook side to side.."No I ain't heard of no Daniel what the fuck!..The hell you talkin' about?"
"You'll find out"..His eyes glazed over, and for a moment the wisdom was replaced with fear.."It's a done deal sweet meat..All that's left is the signing."
She stood there a moment, his words sinking in..
"Your fucked up Herm"...She said it with more honesty than she had known herself to possess. "You've always been fucked up..So what the fuck are you getting yourself into now?"

The 7 Levels of Awareness

I cannot be awake for nothing looks to me as it did before,
Or else I am awake for the first time, and all before has
been a mean sleep.
Walt Whitman


First a bit about the universe..
Our realm, the physical universe..The 'stage front' our lives are played out on..
Subject to the laws of physics, including space, time, and causation are real...
They are not an illusion of our limited perception. They do exist.
What eastern philosophy is trying to hammer home is that,
the physical universe is only a part of the universe as a whole..
The rest of the universe, for lack of a better illustration, is the
'back stage' portion of the universe..
This 'back stage' portion of the universe is where the physical universe was conceptualized..
The 'back stage' part of the universe is the womb of the physical universe.
Where as the physical universe is made tangible by the creation of atoms..
The 'back stage' portion of the universe is and has always existed infinitely, as non matter..
Some people confuse non matter with nothingness...
Non matter is simply that which exists not formed of matter.
Example: Every time you 'think' you are tapping a part of the universe that is non matter.
The fact that you have the ability to 'think' is proof that the 'back stage' portion of the universe is also real, and not
just the rambling of an insane rational.

The process by which human beings perceive the physical universe, and the 'back stage' portion of the universe is through awareness or conscience ness...
One device by which human beings judge the validity of their perception of the universe is through the use of rational thought.
Rational thought is a tool of the human intellect.
Most commonly used during a state of conscience termed 'waking conscience'.

Eastern philosophy advises that at whatever level of conscience or awareness a human being is perceiving the physical and 'backstage' portions of the universe, that level will dictate the perception the human receives.
Although the tool of human intellect has given mankind the ability to survive and flourish in the 'stage front' portion of the universe, eastern philosophy warns mankind that the very tool of our intellect is also working against us as spiritual beings.
Clouding our ability to recognize the reality of the 'backstage' portion of the universe and it's overall greater meaning in our lives.
It is after all, where the physical universe came from.

Eastern philosophy offers mankind (at no charge) the tools to out wit the constraints of the intellect.
That mankind may better understand, the true nature of the universe as a whole, and of human beings unity with the universe as a whole..
Eastern philosophy maintains that human beings are in truth, spiritual beings that transcend the physical universe..
Eastern philosophy maintains that the spiritual nature of human beings is one with the 'backstage' portion of the universe..
Eastern philosophy maintains that the essence that is the whole universe is the same identical essence human beings are constructed of..
By it's very nature of wholeness, within every human being, exists the universe as a whole.
I am using human kind as an example..Eastern philosophy extends this same concept to all that is in existance.

In an effort to understand the importance of the levels of conscience as they apply to the perception of the individual and that individual's building of a life value system:
The seven levels of awareness

Deep sleep: The first level of awareness..
During deep sleep the intellect is disengaged.
The self is still present..Silent..In a state of surveillance...
This is experienced when for example someone says to a woman who is in deep sleep.
"Your child needs you"..
The immediate response of the Mother waking to full waking conscience is an example that the 'self' is still present during the state of deep sleep.

Dream state: The second state of awareness..
The intellect is more active however not fully active as indicated by the often less than rational story lines our dream experiences consist of..
The experiences while dreaming however, seem as 'real' while dreaming, as our experiences in waking conscience..
The insight that the experience is a dream is not realized until the individual awakes from the dream to waking conscience..
Example: "Wow that was a very vivid dream I just had."
Again, the insight that I was dreaming is realized in the next level of awareness, not during the dream state it's self.

Waking conscience: Per eastern philosophy including Hinduism and Buddhism:
When you wake up from the dream state, you 'wake up' into another dream.
The third state of conscience 'waking conscience'.
Here the rational mind (intellect) is fully engaged.
While you are participating in this state you don't realize, that this state is equally illusionary,
equally a result of the intellect creating stories and scenery we become totally immersed in..
Like going to a really good movie and getting lost in the movie..
The drama and meanings of life in this state are real and valid..
Wars are won and lost, victories for and against the greater good are played out on this stage..This state of awareness is the main event in the history of human beings..
It is rich in wonder and fabric...It is fine..
Again the point is....This state of reality is not all there is...
Just as is the case with the previous dream state..
You can not gain insight to the 'intellects weavings of reality' as long as you remain in the present state..
Just as in the dream state the insight of the illusionary nature of the state is only realized when one removes them self from the current state and wakes to a higher level of awareness..

It's is here at this level of awareness I promised (per the blog "Compatibility") to share an exercise that one may practice to experience the next level of awareness..

The silent witness: The fourth state of conscience...
The first glimpse of your soul.
In this state our busy mind is lay to rest and what is left is the real you..
It is the presence of your soul...It is silent, it is witnessing..
Practice the exercise as follows to become aware of your fourth state of conscience:
Media works well for this..It can be music, or a movie, or a television..
Best to find a place where the surroundings are quiet.
So that during the part of the exercise when no media is playing, there are no ambient distractions kick starting the mind back in to disruption.
So, "Get thee to a nunnery!"....Just kiddin'.

Ok, your listening to some music or whatever.
Try to be just into that..
Try not to allow your mind to be wandering off doing a bunch of other stuff while your listening.
Shut the media off, and ask your self this question:
"Who is listening?"
Close your eyes and listen to who is listening..
Don't turn the media back on..Don't let your 'head' answer..Let your mind be at rest..
Just simply ask the question, close your eyes and listen to who is listening.
Try it a couple of times...Shut the media off and ask, "who is listening?"...
Close your eyes and listen to who is listening..
Did you sense the presence there?...The silent witness?...That is you..That is your soul.
It is not a presence that is perceived by the mind..It is a presence all it's own..It is before the mind, transcending the mind...It is the first glimpse of true reality.

Fifth state of awareness: Cosmic Conscience..
Consistent awareness of the soul..In this state of conscience transcends the previous levels of conscience.
So whether in deep sleep, dream, or waking, the awareness of the soul is present.
Sixth state of awareness: Constant awareness of the oneness of all things in existence.
To the point of perception through the five senses..
In this state through meditation, the observer perceives for example,
a bird..
Sees the bird, sees the bird's soul.
Sees the totality of the universe existing within the bird..
Sees the universe through the bird.

Seventh state of awareness: The observer sees not only as in the sixth state of awareness, but also see's their self in the subject being observed.
The realization is in the observer recognizing that he/she is not only the observer but also the subject being observed..
It is the ultimate experience of the oneness that is the entire universe..
This level of conscience is also commonly termed the state of "enlightenment."

I am that...You are that...All of this is that...That is all there is.

A note about the use drugs to attain spiritual growth.
It is true that for many spiritual traditions the use of certain drugs are
successful for a dramatic shift in the student's state of conscience..
Producing an immediate alter in the conscience.
It is produced by a shift of conscience at the assimilation point..
That is, the point where the conscience assembles the universe and projects
it through the process of perception via the brain and nervous system.
The problem with the use of drug induced alternate states of conscience is there
is a lot of disintegration that comes with that process...

It is a fine line between sages, psychotics, and genius...

I don't recommend it..The use of drugs is not required.
There is no special equipment needed to attain higher levels of conscience.
It is not necessary to remove one self from daily normal life activities to attain higher levels of awareness.
It is not even something that one needs to attain.
you all ready have it..It is already part of you...It is your birth right..

The trick, is in the realization, understanding, and integration of what you have available to you in your life..
That part takes willingness, proper direction, practice, and patience.

Compatibility

If social popularity is truly reflected through the media.
If capitalism holds it's weight as a measure of the needs and desires of the populous.
You might agree that there are more than a few people out there looking for
their soul mate...
Mate, significant other, or better half, as loosely defined within the concept:
An avenue of individual enrichment attainable through the connection of oneness experienced through such a relationship..

Personally,.... heart ache, heart attack, trophy, compromise, triumph, sugar daddy, sugar mama, and lip of insanity are descriptions that also come to mind.
However, I won't be addressing those at this time..
I am not feeling particularly cynical today, and besides, I really did want this blog to indicate something of a thought containing at least semblance of social value..

As it is fitting that the title of any piece of writing be included in the actual body of the material, I suppose this as good time as any to mention it..
Compatibility
It's even a long enough word to tie it's self at both ends somewhere below the tight wire of human relationships to truly be conceived as a safety net.
"You are like me...I am like you....We gonna' get along fine."

The problem is,...people want 'time' to stop..
Just at the moment they decide to pick their apple of compatibility..
They think, "I am picking my apple at the perfect ripeness of compatibility, and it's going to somehow stay preserved just like this for my future enjoyment."

It's a dilemma.. How can we honestly expect to merge into our future, with all it's inherent changes that most certainly will take place, while expecting ourselves and our apple to remain preserved, unchanged, from that time in the passed?
Or we think,..."even due certain unavoidable changes in myself and the self of my apple, I checked this out real good, and picked my apple at just the perfect ripeness.
In spite of life's little twists and turns there is enough compatibility in the perfect ripeness of my apple to cover those unavoidable changes"...

Honestly... I think there is too much emphasis placed on the shoulders of compatibility.
I think there is too little significance placed on the value of oneness that drove you to start looking for an apple in the first place.

Everybody is already compatible...
What?...What did he just say?
Everybody is already compatible.
Ok, I admit it's time to draw a line in the sand...
Those of you who believe this is not your first time around in life...Keep on reading..
Those of you who believe this is it and your either going home to your God Head, or your going to be existing in a place separated from your God Head...
....Humm...It's your call.

So,... the universe is like a blender..
You end a lifetime and your essence is mixed back into the blender only to be spit back out here again..
Fun and games...
I am leaving the spiritual evolutionary process out of the loop cuz the fact remains.
We are still here...We haven't made it to 'over there', cuz we're still here right?
However I digress..
Mean while back at the blender...
Time after time our essence is being mixed up with all the other essences...
After a few eons of living lifetime after lifetime we are so mixed up, we are the essences we're being mixed back into..
The reality of compatibility isn't, "You are like me", "I am like you"....
The reality is, "You are me", "I am you"...

The reason oneness gravitates to harmony in human relationships is
simply because oneness is the reality of all things that get processed
through the blender..
We are all not only a part of the oneness...
We are the oneness.
Relationships fail because we are stuck in the tangled hierarchy of the dream
state known as waking conscience...
In this state of awareness we fully and absolutely believe in the concept of the separation of self.
Ooops...There goes the oneness..
It is this very state of awareness that human beings spend the better part of their busy lives building self...
Self worth, self esteem, self determination, self, self ,self..
With every illusionary act of building the concept of individual self, comes the ever widening gap of separation from the true harmonic value of oneness...
It is the separation from oneness that leads to the creation and cultivation of alienation..
It is in fact, the root cause of all human suffering in the world today.
What?...What?...What is the cause of all human suffering in the world today?
The root cause of all human suffering in the world today is Man's misunderstanding of his true nature in the universe..

The good news is Human kind has the ability to 'know' it's true nature in the universe..
Despite what fundamentalist western religious doctrine claims.
Human's have the capacity to understand their true nature in the universe because...........
Because, like everything else that exist....We are the universe...We are not only put through the blender...
We are the blender...
We are not only trying to get to that 'other place'...
We are that other place.
The oneness concept of the universe is contained in the word 'that'....
I am that...You are that....All this is that....That is all there is..

Next time I write about this subject I will share an exercise with you..
It is a piece of that capacity to 'know'..
It will allow you to experience for yourself a state of awareness one level above the 'waking state' of conscience...
It is this state of awareness Walt Whitman refers to in his quote:
I cannot be awake for nothing looks to me as it did before,
Or else I am awake for the first time, and all before has
been a mean sleep.

"Hey It's Halloween!"

Early in the evening, straight through the black of night
Slow churned hours of Halloween, gripped my soul in fright
Nibbling on white knuckles, rolled up into a fist
Waiting for the risen ones, appearing in the mist

Dragging their dead feet across the dew drops on my lawn
I know I'll find no peace of mind until November's morn
Tapping on my windows, beating thunder on my door
Searching in the moon glow entrance at the basement floor

"Hey it's Halloween! Why don't you come on out and play?
Join the celebration for those of us who passed away
Three hundred sixty five full days of hunger and of thirst
You know, you should feel special, your the one we thought of first"

Searing pain, splintered wood thrust dead hands through my door
Quick thawed frozen fear poured down my pant leg to the floor
Six inch broken blackened nails sunk deep into my flesh
As they quarrel dividing portions I backed up to save the rest

Crutching to the banister I make the second landing fall
Their pouring through the windows I realize futility in it all
So I crouch most patiently a corner of a room
Nothing but a bedroom door between me and lusting doom

"Before you show us your disgust, then turn your head away
Remember in a little while you'd be joining us some day
We think you owe some homage to the ones that came before
So, simply pay your due respect and twist the handle on the door"

"Hey it's Halloween! Why don't you come on out and play?
Join the celebration for those of us who passed away
Three hundred sixty five full days of hunger and of thirst
You know, you should feel special, your the one we thought of first"

October

October...
Well, this year is blowing out in a hurry..
It's always around this time I start thinking about next year..
Kind of a pre new year resolution thing..
Let see, it's too late to fix this or that this year cuz, time is running out..
Next year is going to be 'better'....Yeah, that's the one...
Next year is going to be better...
I've got to be finished wading through the sludge by then...Next year is going to be roses..
Every year October swings around and I am repeating those same lines..
LooseCanon, why can't you get it though your thick skull, It's already better...
Spoiled rotten.......
October...Her favorite time of year...I never much cared for it before we met..
It's something about the 'time' of the season that always discouraged me...
The magnitude of the relentless awful truth that is the circle of life...
Love changed all that..Love made October ok with me..
That was many years ago, and still it is her reflection that carries me through these 31 days.
Oh man, this isn't going to be one of those 'crazy' LooseCanon blogs again is it??...
You know the ones where he gets all nuts and starts spewing' all kinds of personal sexual turmoils and shit?
Like a god damn volcano with a hard on?
Nope...
Really, it's...I wanted to wish her a happy Birthday, and it's not like it's that 'one' day that happens to fall in the month of October...
It's not that I am afraid I'll like, forget about it, and be stuck in the 'belated' line...
It's more like, what October 'is' to me...
There were so many October's that came and went...So many I didn't even make the 'belated' line...
Yet,...not one passed without it being her month, here, inside of me...
So, Happy Birthday, October...I am so grateful you are in the world..
It is the month that marks the fall season, and of some gravity personally, as I am now experiencing the fall years of my life..
Other than some saggy skin and the outside chance of aphasia setting in at any given moment, I would not trade these years for any other...
They have proven to be a totality, and luckily, the mistakes and immaturity of previous times have proven themselves to be of value after all..
What lies behind the falling leaves, gusty winds, fractured sunlight of these days of change is what gives them merit.
Half the living world experiencing a common goal..
A busy time of preparation...Awaking from the long, lazy, forgiving days of summer..
An instinctive anxiety to 'make haste'...Mingled amongst those sets of gusts, Winter can be heard growling, "I am coming.....It may not seem like it today, but make no mistake....I am coming"...
For most of us American's, October is the gateway to the holiday season with Halloween on the tail end, (one of my favorites) then Thanksgiving less than a month after...All leading up to the 'big ones' Chanukah and Christmas Day with New Years kind of a basking in the after glow...
I think that's what she meant about October being her favorite time of year....I could be wrong of course, however, she has a knack of 'thinking' way down the road from me, so it makes sense...
This year, I am putting my personal shaman hex on the Santa Anna winds and their notorious wild fire havoc here in California...As an added safe guard I have summoned the dead spirit of Hatfield 'the rain maker' to assist me in my efforts...
Did I ever tell you guys about Hatfield 'the rain maker'?....True story...Right here in my town...Filled up the newly formed Lake Morena reservoir, over spilled the dam, and flooded out half of San Diego...
Got some serious magic working with me on this deal..
Trick or treat...

Housework

HOUSEWORK


Being a single parent (in my case a single grand dad) it makes for two kinds of housework..
The normal wear and tear stuff like doing dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning for my Grandson and our two dogs, three cats, and two goldfish...
It doesn't seem like much, compared to what my Mom did with the same amount of pets and four kids...
And she did it with a smile...
Some people you just can't live up too...
It's harder for me I think cuz.....Cuz I want it to be part-time I guess..
I don't find a lot of fulfillment in it as a top priority in my life..
It's what I got to do, being a 'grown up' and a 'model' of a productive individual in the eyes of my Grandson...The luggage of parenting.
Things are a little better now though...After two years of off and on again remodeling around here we now have a kitchen sink again..
Yeah, two years before the mast of doing dishes in the bathtub...No wonder my back is wack..
I just got done with this one part of the house Shane (Grandson) and I designated 'the jungle room'...Theme rooms, that's us...We got jungle room, ocean room, music room, and no room actually finished..
Jungle room is a kind of sitting room that you have to pass through to get just about anywhere else in the house..
Anyway I fixed up jungle room pretty nice..I thought it was pretty nice anyway...I had to let Shane start sleeping in there cuz school has started and he's too hard to get up in the morning out of his usual habitat...He has a 25 foot camper trailer he lives in on the side.
I have to get up at 5am to get his ass to school by 7:30, and I got tired off banging on his trailer every morning in my underwear trying to wake him up...
24 hours after I got done fixing up jungle room and presented it to Shane, it became apparent there was a gorilla living there..
It's overwhelming working on this house...It was a fixer upper when I purchased it
twenty years ago...
I put a little money and time into it as economics and work schedules allow...
I do the work on the house myself...
Not cuz I am special...Just cuz I can't afford anybody to do it for me..
Oh, I've hired 'handymen'...I guess I just haven't hired any 'handy' handymen..
The last guy's favorite saying was "I am not in the right 'frame' of mind to work today"..
I started with the foundation of the house and worked my way up..
It's a post and tier foundation which has both pros and cons..
The good part is there is no slab to bust up in earthquakes..
The foundation flexes during those scary times and this type of foundation works really well because of it..
The problem with post and tier is the foundation tends to sag in spots as time marches on...This house was built in 1950 and when I moved in the sub structure was original...
The term 'plumb' does not apply...It's a nightmare in that regard...
The first month I spent more time under the house adding support to the main frame than I care to remember...I got to know the spiders living there on a first name bases..

Today I am pulling out a window and creating a door...I rip off some wood and everything comes to a grinding halt...Wasps...
Lots of Wasps...Pissed off too...What? I didn't knock first?...
Was I suppose to call ahead?
I grab the closest weapon at hand...It's the propane torch I use to weld water pipe..
No mercy.
Shane, is coming unglued.."Don't kill em Dad!"...
"Get real" I comment to him never averting my eyes from my prey..
Shane and I share a common value when it comes to other life..
Neither of us find any enjoyment in the destruction of the living..
However, he wasn't nearly as close to the action as I.
My Zen Buddhist lent evaporated promptly leaving in it's wake a murdering pyromaniac..."Redrum"..."Redrum."
"Just goes ta' show ya' that it's always somethin'." (Roseann Roseanna Danna) Probably not spelt right but what the hell..
That's how it is working on the house..
Everything takes eight hours..
Three steps backwards to get one step forward..
Tools..Always vanishing, and when they reappear, always six inches out of reach..
Measuring...A tape measure is the 'model' Plato speaks of...
Once you transform the model onto a piece of wood and cut it , the imperfection of the 'real' world becomes excruciatingly apparent.
Fasteners: Nails...Just cuz I am paranoid doesn't mean their not all out to get me.
Drywall screws...I can't hold onto a drywall screw with a glove on...Even with the good gloves you can pick up a dime with..
Got to hold it with bare fingers...A the end of the day theres so much metal embedded in my fingers...Edward Scissorhands comes to mind..
I got to hold down the tendency to make 'short cuts'...Like drywall taping...It's a three step process and it's supposed to take three days to do it right..
This is where the practicing Zen really comes in handy...
I can't let my brain start thinking about all the stuff I'd rather be doing...
Got to 'be' the drywall mud...Got to 'be' the sander...
Trust me that's not the hard part...
After sanding that shit for 5 minutes there is so much drywall dust caked to my head and face 'I am' the drywall mud..
It gets complicated working on the place and living in it at the same time..While I am fixing up the bathroom the kid is shooting bee bee bullets into the ceiling of the bedroom I haven't done yet...
I guess he figures it's fine cuz dad has to redo this room anyway..
The dogs and cats...The spoiled dogs and cats..
Dogs have to lay down right where I am working, so I am tripping over them all day...
The cats think they are County Building Inspectors...
Always on the job..
I wish somebody would tell them they are suppose to wait till I call them to come out..
The phone is a constant interruption...
Honestly, doesn't anyone write letters anymore?
I don't know, I try to be rude, I try to tell em I am busy, they just keep calling back...
Ain't I the popular one....Too bad it's always bill collectors...
Then there is this...Blogging...It's like a fisherman's wife....Keeps bugging me..."You should be writing"..."You should be writing"...When I give up and start writing the other wife starts in..."You should be making music"..."You should be making music"..
So, yeah, I usually do three or four things at the same time..
That's a strength isn't it?...They call it able to perform multi-concurrent activities?
Whoops....I checked the spelling and there is no such word as muti-concurrent...
I guess it's just me then...

Dark Flow

Scientist has recently discovered some galaxy clusters that are not obeying the know traffic laws per the Big Bang 13.7 billion years ago..
The energy created via the Big Bang causing the outward expansion of the known universe is called 'dark energy'..
It is the stuff that causes a firework to send all the pretties expanding overhead with the effect....Ooohs, and aaaahhhs..
Lately though Scientists have something new to talk about in the lunch room..
A galaxy like our Milky Way is about 100,000 light years across..

Galaxy clusters are up to a thousand galaxies kind of 'hanging out' together.....Galaxy,.... friends...
Yeah, there all over out there, conforming to the speed limits and directions dictated by 'dark energy' and gravity...There are accidents of course...In fact the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies are due to collide in about 3 billion years...
It seems a natural element of continued growth is in play..When galaxies collide or merge new stars are created replacing others that have run the course of their life..

Anyway, out there in the sky in a region between the constellations Centaurus and Vela there are some galaxy clusters that are moving very fast and also....going in the wrong direction...Something is pulling these big dogs, up and out, and in a big way (2 million mph)...Compared to our leisurely 1.34 million mph jaunt across the universe..
Scientist have termed the previously unknown energy source 'Dark Flow'...

The current conclusion in the lunch room is that whatever is driving these clusters must lie beyond the known universe...
In these regions, space-time might be very different, and likely doesn't contain stars and galaxies (which only formed because of the particular density pattern of mass in our bubble). It could include giant, massive structures much larger than anything in our own observable universe. These structures are what researchers suspect are tugging on the galaxy clusters, causing the dark flow.

Tugging???....That's a mightly polite definition...
So, yeah, this new discovery should help scientist in the future better understand what was going on before the Big Bang 13.7 billion years ago, and also,....what's going on outside the universe that we can 'see'...

Resorces: Space.com HubbleSite.org