First Date

My first date gives me pretty good directions and I navigate through the narrow streets of LaJolla, dealing with the new 'Euro' style traffic circles some over paid fuck wacked out on coke came up with while contemplating the universe...
...I pull into the back of the condo complex find a spot to park and of course I am early...
Like fifteen minutes early...I can smell the ocean, the place is no more than a block from the beach...I wipe my palms off on my jeans taking care not to get any on my new shirt..
I hang out ten minutes then use my cell phone and call her..It takes a minute or so to get a signal like always on the cheap little bastard..I got to check real close too when I punch in the numbers. The buttons are perfect size for Hobbits, Munchkins, or Lilliputs...
..."Hi, it's Steve, I am here"....There's a pause,.."Ok honey, give me a few minutes to just take a shower..... I'll call you back with the condo number, ok sweetie"?..
It's hot in the fucking car..That's the thing about Southern California..It's always hot in the fucking car..Even when it's raining it's hot in the fucking car..I check the flowers to make sure their not wilting..I can't stand it anymore. I get out for some air..The last thing I want is to have to pull my shirt away from a sticky body cuz it's so fucking hot in the car...I get the flowers out and set the vase on the trunk...
It's actually cooler up in the east county mountains where I live...I think it's the humidity factor down here so close to the ocean. The wild flowers are catching some kind of breeze though, threating to flip the vase over..I grab it, and manage to spill some water on my shirt...God damn flowers are turning out to be more hassel then their worth..
I picked em off an embankment on the frontage road near my house leading up to the freeway...It's just two lanes and steep banks on both sides of the road...There wasn't a lot of shoulder room and the few cars that passed me slowed down and made like New York City about it..
People in a rural community are just like the bored dogs and horses they keep..
Everything is a source of entertainment...
Probably cuz they can't get 'cable' or DSL that far out...
Also the spot I pulled off was only about 500 ft. from the Border Patrol check point...
Of course I must be loading up illegials, that's why I am stopped on the side of the road 500 ft. from the check point....
I guess that's what they thought anyway.
I pull up and get the third degree..."State your Nationality." "Where you comin' from"?..."Doing a little sight seeing"?...Ok if I check your trunk"?...
..Whatever...
...Ring, ring...It's Fallen back to me in three minutes..."Hi sweetie come on up..
There's an elevator by the mailboxes..It's the third floor number 307".....
I find the elevator and the place is quiet..No body there when the door opens...I punch the 3 button while making sure I don't tip the vase and have another accident...
Third floor landing no body around when the elevator doors open....
I step out...
The numbers on the doors are all reading in the 320's....I walk down the corridor and the damn numbers are getting bigger not smaller!...What the fuck?..
There's some adjacent halls...I walk down all of them...Ain't no number lower then 320..I set down the vase and wipe off my palms...I must have the wrong building!....
No friendly nieghbors around, no little old lady commenting "what beautiful flowers, are they for me"?...
No suit with a "can I help you", and no security guard in totalitarian attire flashing a false smile...
I grab my shirt pocket...No cell phone.. I left it in the car...
I mean, why not right? What the hell would I need it for?..I brave the elevator again back to the main entry....
There are three separate buildings in the complex....100's, 200's, 300's...No help...
I put the flowers on the trunk of the car again, they don't fall over...
I get the damn phone, ten minutes have passed now....
I check the phone...The fucker reads "no service"....
Is it me?..Is it just me, or does this kind of shit happen to you?...
My shirt, my stained shirt, is sticking to my back like wallpaper..I am walking back to the courtyard holding out my cell phone like Science Officer Spock on a random moon looking for any sign of life...
Fifteen minutes.....Holy Shit!..
I finally get a damn phone signal...Fallen's phone rings four times and the voice mail picks up...
I leave what I determine to be a rather calm message..."I can't find you,..Call me back"...
There are certain aspects in life that one can safety pedict the outcome...
Sun rises in the East, sets in the West..
The order of Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter,.......and a woman scorned..
Fallen isn't calling back...She's pissed, I know it... Leave it to me to fuck up a wet dream..
I call a couple more times and even the voice mail doesn't want to hear it...
The way of the universe seems kind of fickle to me..On one hand there are the slow steady constants..Daytime turns in to night, and nightime into day...
The rise and fall of the tides...The steady progression of the constellations..
Then there's us...Apparenty we don't qualify..
It's the same boat for all of life under the sun...
Somebody, or something somewhere is having a laugh riot at all our expense...It's the only conclusion that makes sense...
That's the scary part...Just the process of trying to make sense of it may in fact be taking an univited liberty..